Toilet Talk

Friday, September 28, 2007

A conclusion that I have reached is that either a.) The French discourage peeing, or that b.) Going to the bathroom is only for the privileged. Not convinced? Read on…

In general,
- Toilets have no seats.
- Bathrooms (and showers) are co-ed.
- Clean bathrooms don’t exist, only different levels of dirtiness.
- If you want to use a toilet outside of residence, bars, or campus, you need to pay to pee.

In residence,
- They don’t supply the stalls with toilet paper. This means that going to the bathroom is not a subtle thing. It doesn’t leave much to the imagination when you see someone walking down the hall with a roll of toilet paper in his or her hand. (Or even better, a roll of toilet paper and a textbook!)
- They also don’t have sinks in the res bathrooms. You need to go back to your room to wash your hands.
- (And a bit about the showers? Well, you can’t adjust the temperature, and in any case, they seem to only have two settings: icy cold or scalding hot.)

In a bar,
- Most bars have nothing more than a hole in the ground. Consider yourself LUCKY if you get a seatless toilet!
- You can also imagine that drunken girls squatting and drunken boys trying to aim doesn’t leave the nicest aftermath in the stall.
- You might get toilet paper if there is still some left. Though, they’re never in a hurry to restock.

On campus,
- Again, toilet paper isn’t restocked very often. Go in the morning. Otherwise, carry Kleenex with you at all times.
- Sometimes you can get carried away reading all the colourful graffiti. However, if that happens, you will be left to do your deeds in the dark.
- The light is timed, so after about 90 seconds, it shuts off. Eco-friendly? I think not! It’s just another way to get you in and out as fast as they can!
- Now on campus, it’s a step up (a very small step). They have sinks. Soap and a way to dry your hands? Think again. I usually walk out of the bathroom with wet handprints on my jeans.

I hear that the North of France is a little more up-to-date on the toilet stuff, but hey, in exchange for weather like this, I’m more than happy to put up with a seatless toilet for the year.